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10:40 am
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Journal Entry
I'm still existing. I haven't been working a lot lately. If I didn't make so damn much when I do work it might be getting to me. I hope I move up soon. I know I will in the next batch that go up since my hours are highest.
Dad's kidneys are failing. That really sucks balls. It is all deadly and such. He isn't very healthy to begin with, then adding this isn't good at all. wow that was an obvious statement. I wonder if anyone reads this anymore. Dan used to read it, but he moved to his own blog. Kristen used to read it, but... well
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01:56 am
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Update
I haven't posted here in a while. Life is fairly boring and I never feel anything is worth posting. I've been working as a longshoreman. I've been saving all the money I don't have to spend on getting to work. I really don't work much. I don't do anything else either though. I'm gonna sleep now so I don't get crushed by huge machines cause I dozed off while working.
Current Mood:  thirsty
Current Music: Conan O'Brien
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08:23 pm
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yup another of them damn tests. At least this one seems accurate.
Which OS are You?
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02:18 am
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"%messagesubject"
I was unable to get ahold of Wes. That sucks. He is prolly sleeping or something. I was hoping to get some driving around done. Yeah, posting here is fun I guess since nobody reads it.
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08:35 pm
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Sucks to be joo.
Well, it's Monday. I'm waiting for Wes. He might not have woke up yet. We are supposed to go drive around. That should be fun... SO nothing has happened, but I decided to start posting more so I'm posting. I guess I'll find something to entertain me while I wait...hmmm...Aqua Teen Hunger Force
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06:31 am
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Okay I'm not done yet.
I went to Dan's livejournal and it had some quiz thing and I took some. Here's the results.
hand holding - you like to be in constant physical
contact with your special someone but you don't
want to take things too quickly.
You have an entrancing kiss~ the kind that leaves
your partner bedazzled and maybe even feeling
he/she is dreaming. Quite effective; the kiss
that never lessens and always blows your
partner away like the first time.
No wonder...I don't move fast enough in a relationship and when I do I throw them into a coma....
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03:47 am
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Sucks to be me.
It's 3:42am and I'm not able to sleep, so I'm looking for something to do. I haven't posted to this thing lately so I am. I've had this plugin for mozilla to post with but have neglected to use it. So now I'm posting. I'll bet the 0 people with me on their friends list are gonna be so happy. So I'm in Couger. I'm bored. I'm listening to Conan O'Brian on the TV in one ear and some anime music chkno sent me in the other. I'm thinking I might change my user image. My color scheme used to be a purple/pink thing and people kept asking if I was gay. Now they ask because my picture is Bubbles. I like pink and purple and Power Puff Girls, but I'm not gay and don't want to send off an incorrect impression.
Current Mood:  awake
Current Music: Scrapped Princess - ed
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01:17 am
[Link] | So I recieved a reply to a fairly old post and figured maybe it might be time to write here again. Nobody reads it really, but what the fuck. I am prolly gonna be moving to Cougar, a small town with no shit for people. I will be working for the person I will be renting from. At least I will be able to waste my life away with a minimum of disturbances, That is all I ask. That I be left alone while I am useless. so anyways I should put a picture of me on here. I'm not sure if I have one on here and don't feel like checking, http://www.geocities.com/ecneics1/meskin.jpg
so ya
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03:55 am
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Inherent worries of subservient behavior.
So anyway... I've been having regular meetings with Cameron DeYoung. These meetings have been about various things, but they all center around me getting the fuck out of the hell hole that is Hudsons Bay High School. I have enough credits. I just don't have the right kind. How was I supposed to know that all the classes that I liked would give me occ. education credits? So I have like 16 occ. ed. credits and that is about 14.5 more than I need. Our talks have mostly been about converting my credits into other types so that they count towards my total. Also, he has gotten things set up so that I receive 1/2 of a credit of English out of the VA. That would be great if that was all the credits I was getting out of the VA. I'm getting 3.5 credits out of the VA. Besides those 3.5 credits, I'm also getting 5 credits from normal classes and like 3 or 4 credits out of some project based learning crap. So in other words, I'm getting a inhuman amount of credits and it's wearing me out. I can barely get my school work done and I can barely sleep and I can barely handle all the crap that is piled on me, but it is my fault. I chose to slack off. I chose to not participate in my own life and now I'm suffering the repercussions of my actions. That is all.
Current Mood:  drained
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08:59 pm
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Today was great.
Today, things happened that normally might get me down, but not today. I don't know why. Today, I was all ready to give my speech in 1st period and I couldn't get the VCR to work, so I get to go first tomorrow. That is cool. Even though I was prepared, now I get to prepare even more. In 2nd period we were doing speed trial stuff and I messed up on some stuff, but that means when I do it again at the end of the year it'll look even better. Then I accidentally left stuff in the classroom, but I was able to catch the teacher and get my stuff. In third period we went to the library and I didn't get asked for ID. I had it, but I didn't get asked. Then anti-commie guy got in trouble for something. Then at lunch I lost my backpack, but I'm sure I'll find it. The only problem was that my pants were in my backpack because I put them in there when I dressed down for PE, so I had to wear my shorts all day. That wasn't bad. They don't look bad, but I'm not allowed to wear shorts at the VA. I was able to get around that by having my friend Max sign in for me. Well, I also needed some stuff for classes, but I just wrote the info on lined paper I borrowed and I'll put it on the proper papers if I get my backpack back. When I got to the VA, my supervisor said I could take off early to go look for my backpack. I didn't because I had already checked everywhere I could think of, but it was nice of him. All in all it was a rather nice day.
Current Music: Gorillaz - Clint Eastwood
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09:55 pm
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So school is back.
Yay! I so love school. I got my blood tested and I'm farely normal. I don't feel so good. I hope I'm not sick my first day of being a superdooper platinum elite ultra high-up upperclassmen senior type guy. Kristen smells like spam. Haven't smelled her in a long while, but I'm sure she smells very simalar to spam or some type or spiced ham product. I need money. That is all. If you want to have good fortune and live five years longer, send money to me at 1115 W 19th Street Vancouver, Washington 98660
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12:08 am
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My ass is dead
So, I haven't moved from this seat for 18-20 hours. Since school ended I've had a really hard time finding ways to fill my time. I've been spending time with whoever will spend time with me. I spent a few days visiting Carmen and I spent a lot of nights roaming the streets with Jimmy. I spent a lot of time at Denny's and saw Heath and Wes and a few other people. Wes was his normal standoffish and somehow still aggressive, abrasive self. Heath was was his normal overly forthcoming skinhead nazi preaching self. Heath asked Jimmy and I if there were any occurances of homosexuality nature and I answered no. He then said I was wrong and explained how female hienas have a fake penis that they will use on other females for pleasurable sex and how certain species of chimpanzee will engage in make on male or female on female sex. He then pointed out that all these occur in Africa and said that all the worlds evils came from Africa. He then went on with his whole speach and I kinda stopped listening, but I think it was something about how Hitler was good and soviet health care was good. I was drinking a lot and smoking a fair ammount of pot for a while, but I stopped because I was sick of avoiding reality. That's all for now.
Current Mood:  calm
Current Music: (Depeche Mode mm-02) The Things you said.wav
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11:13 pm
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Well, not much happened.
Not much happened, but I'm gonna say what did. Today I left after 1st period and hung -out with JimmX. We went to the mall. I saw Derek at Cinnebon and he gave me a good deal on food. Then JimmX and I got Quecats and ate. Then we did various other things I haven't done for a while. After we were all done at the mall, we went back to his place and hung-out there and improved his system and stuff. Then we went to my house and did what I was avoiding all along, which was finding a new home for my cat. I've done lots of other rather unimportant stuff today too, but I'll leave off here because I'm boring.
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10:43 pm
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I'm feeling nice
I have no life, so I have nothing to lose. I missed my life greatly for a while, but now I realize what we call a life is false and it serves no purpose, but to shield what is important until you die so you don't have to realize that the things that really matter in life aren't fun and nobody really wants to experience them. I however want to experience these things because I know them to be truth, and I know them to be logic based. In other words, I'm the type that doesn't like the wool pulled over his eyes even when it's me doing it. I may suffer severe depression because of it and I may lose my sanity, but I figure somebody has to do it. Whatever.... I'm good. I'm not great, but I'm good. I should be taking some major steps in my life soon and I don't have any worries. I guess that is about all that is happening in my life. I'll keep you up on any changes.
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11:14 pm
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........................................
Suck me..... I hate shit. People suck.... Things suck..... Fuck everything and everyone
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09:56 pm
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So long and thanks for all the fish...
Hey Journal buddy,
It's been a while since I posted. I'm pretty much the same. I miss everyone, but that is fine. I wish I could have all I wanted in life, but I can't. Maybe someday all will come back to me. Okay.... Today was okay. I slept for a while then got up. Then I slept. Then I watched Sunday shows with mom. nice.......... see ya
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08:35 pm
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okay
time passes slowly in my dark little cave. Some times I'm times I try to be so alert and brave. Other times I even forget to shave. still, other times I feel as a bound up slave.
LEGION OF SPOON IS HERE!
All is bright. Those men have driven away the darkness! They have broken a hole in my cave. They have released me to the world and all its wonders. Thank you LEGION OF SPOON. You have saved the day.
LEGION OF SPOON WILL ERASE ALL GLOOM
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06:30 pm
[Link] | /me is not good.
/me is not good.
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01:03 am
[Link] | Well... I just got done talking with Wes about the LANpartment. We are gonna get a bank account just for the LANpartment, so we can save our money there. So far we have $7, but it's a start.
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01:39 am
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Yep, it's me again.
You ever just feel like everything would just make so much more sense if it just didn't exist? Why do people subject themselves to torture so easily? Why don't people look for an alternative? What is life anyway exept just a bunch of DNA strone together by something or someone we don't know and everybody argues about. Personally, I have this strange and strong feeling that I can't explain that guides me. I don't care if it's gas of a supreme being or whatever, I've followed it and it hasn't let me down. What is this big hype about things having to go right for every one? What is right? Isn't it just something you learned from your parents or your kindergarten teacher before you can remember? Isn't it just our perception of a variable. Aren't we applying a constant to a variable we can't truely understand? If you are defining the meaning, doesn't that mean we can make any situation "right"? Does that empower us? Does that move us any farther ahead? ...or does it tell you that there is no farther ahead when it comes to this because it is you that defines it and thereby it is you that is holding you back. There is no spoon!
Current Mood: perplexed
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ecneics's journal